There Are No Rules


Its Monday, it’s the 1st of November, and already my social media is filled with posts about how with only two months left of the year we should all be smashing our goals and people asking if it’s too early for Christmas songs yet.


Let’s get the Christmas songs out of the way first, I love them! Play them as much as you want, do what makes you happy. If getting in the festive spirit is what you need right now, do it. If other people don’t like it, they can scroll on past or walk away. We have this ever year don’t we? Asking other people’s permission to do things that make us feel good. Why? Because we don’t want the criticism or the negativity of others. So we wait, we ask permission and when it feels like it’s acceptable to others for us to do something, then we go ahead.


What if there were no rules? What if you want to listen to your favourite Christmas song in September, or April? If it makes you feel good do it!!


Let’s then tackle the ‘smashing of goals’.


You do not need to smash anything, unless of course you want to. There is no rule that say you have to finish this year tired, exhausted and stressed.


We can all acknowledge that we’ve been through a challenging time collectively, some people have come through it more smoothly than others, and yet everyone I speak to is exhausted.


We’re exhausted by not knowing what’s happening next, we’re exhausted by the restrictions and not being able to plan things to look forward to. We’re exhausted by the news, the endless conversations, the negativity, the criticism, other people’s choices, pushing through, surviving, letting go of things that no longer serve us, juggling life in general, and not being able to have the relaxing breaks that we usually have once or more a year.


And with exhaustion, can come heightened levels of anxiety, not feeling good enough and falling into the trap of comparing ourselves. So the last thing we need is a feed full of posts telling us that we should be doing better, we should be working harder and we should be pushing more.


If you’ve got things that you want to achieve this year, by all means go ahead, but please, not to the detriment of your own health and wellbeing.


Last week I was thrown quite a few curveballs, I was off balance, exhausted and I needed to juggle my week, cancel a few things, move a few others and focus on my family. A lack of sleep, a poorly step-son and me feeling rough by mid-week didn’t help things along. I reached out to my team, said I was behind, that I needed more help to get things back on track, and everything is fine. If I’m a week late in doing something, I’m a week late in doing something, and I can forgive myself for that, be kind to myself and show myself some compassion.


Toward the end of last week I saw a post from someone about everything they had achieved in October and I almost began to doubt myself and question my capabilities because of how tired I felt. I also put some context around this, they have a support team of hundreds and I have a support team of a handful. I can only do what I can do. And, in the process, I take regular time out.


Sometimes plans need amending or changing, and that’s ok. You’re not a failure as a result of it. It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.


You are human.


And life happens.


Yes, there are two months left until the end of the year. For you that be bringing up panic, relief, disbelief or something else – that’s ok.


My hope for you, is that you give yourself some slack, some love and some kindness over the next few months and beyond. Nothing needs smashing!


You do not need to push, and strive and smash and hustle for the next few months because someone else created a rule that you have to finish the year strong. You finish the year in whatever way works best for you.


Kelly


P.S I’m hosting a Masterclass on 24th November, Boundaries and Balance, how to overcome Imposter syndrome and lead from your core, join me!


In 2013, Kelly had a successful leadership career, yet she was burned out, exhausted, and missing out on life with her family.


Determined to enjoy the success that she had earned, she's learned to create a life of balance and boundaries that is also highly successful.


Today, Kelly is founder of The Chrysalis Crew and Executive Coach at Kelly Swingler Ltd. She's helped women leaders all over the world to prevent and recover from burnout by becoming their own VIPs without giving up their careers or jeopardising their wellbeing.


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