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I Am Not Your Guru

coaching Jun 23, 2020

On Monday night and sat and watched I Am Not Your Guru on Netflix, the behind the scenes filming on Tony Robbins six day event. It's been coming up on my account as one I might like for months, but I've never entertained it, until now.

Over the past few months I've been pushing forward to do the things that make me uncomfortable. I've always believed we grow on the other side of our comfort zone, but I've also realised that I have times when I'd just rather avoid things. Tony Robbins was one of the things I've been trying to avoid, and I never really knew why.

Tony Robbins is a name that you can't really avoid. His programmes, talks, seminars and photo are pretty much everywhere in the world of self development. My fire walking instructor worked with Tony Robbins, it was the image of Tony on the marketing material that made me put off the training. I've trained in Breathwork with Dan Brulé, Tony Robbins breath work coach, and I've had conversations with Tolly Burkan, Tony's...

"I Am Enough"

Uncategorized Jun 23, 2020

An extremely high performing client and I were speaking this morning about everything they would like to achieve. When we started our coaching relationship a few weeks ago, they had come to me to develop better time management, we quickly knew that time wasn't the issue and they've been making great progress.

Today we talked about their competitive nature, where this has stemmed from and how they feel currently now they aren't in competition with others as they were through school and education. They are highly respected in their field and get great feedback from everyone they work with, but they no longer feel they are achieving and are beating themselves up daily and feeling like a failure.

The reality is there is no failing, but what's missing is the validity of grades and scores and tick boxes that demonstrate a job well done. The praise isn't as forthcoming as it used to be but when asked for and when received it's always glowing.

What we...

Try vs Do

Uncategorized Jun 23, 2020

A few months ago I experienced my first 'nothingness' in a meditation and it felt amazing, yet since then I've found myself trying to recreate the moment and failing, until last Thursday. I've been practising meditation now for years and this 'nothingness' is what the teachers and text books will tell you is the thing to aspire to with meditation, but for now, just focusing on your breath is enough to start with.

And so I've found myself for years trying to find nothingness and thinking I was there with it, until I realised I wasn't. The first time I found this complete silence and stillness I felt elated, and it's taken several months to get back to it. And on Thursday night when it happened again, I realised that the difference was that I totally let go. I stopped trying, and in stopping the trying, it happened again.

That same evening as my partner and I lay in bed I asked him what time he would be home the following day, he leaves at 4am so we don't see...

When You're All Out Of BS Excuses (magic happens)

hr wellbeing Jun 16, 2020

We've all come up with an excuse, or many excuses as to why we shouldn't do things in life. Time is usually one of them and for me often the biggest, but I've realised over the last year or so, that every excuse I have for not doing something is met with even more reasons as to why I should. And then I make the time to make things happen.

Last week I launched kellyswingler.com and I can tell you it was scary. It was scary, mixed with a lot of excitement, a lot of apprehension, and no excuses as to why I shouldn't do it, I had no more left.

I left internal HR in 2013 to start The Chrysalis Crew at the beginning on 2014 and in 2015 I had this niggle that I also needed something that was me, so I bought the kellyswingler.com domain, and did nothing with it. Over the years this niggle has gotten bigger and bigger and I've continued to ignore it. I told myself I didn't have the time. I told myself it would detract from Chrysalis, I told myself it would be too much hard work, I...

Start Your Day Right

Uncategorized Jun 14, 2020

For years my morning routine, well there was no routine. I'd wake, get ready, sort my sons ready for school, leave the house in a rush, get stuck in traffic, arrive at work frazzled and the rest of the day would pretty much follow in the same way.

As my sons got older the mornings got a little easier, but I'd fool myself into thinking I had more time, I didn't, and so I'd still leave the house and get to work frazzled.

It was when I started commuting to London that I started my morning yoga routine, nothing major, just a lovely 20 minute routine that I'd do straight off of bed before jumping in the shower and then leaving the house ready to catch my train. At this point, I wasn't the one getting my sons up and out so all I had to do was make sure I was on the 7:20 train each morning, and I never missed it - I do remember many mornings stood on the platform cursing the train delays and wishing I'd have an extra 20 minutes or more in bed catching up on sleep.

...

Self-Care

Uncategorized Jun 12, 2020

As another week draws to an end, the conversations I've had with HR leaders have been mixed, but one theme remains, none of them are doing enough (or anything at all) for themselves.

Self-care isn't all about yoga and the latest diet or a long soak in the bath, although if that works for you then please don't let me stop you. My daily non-negotiable include morning yoga, journalling, visualisation and meditation along with lots of water throughout the day, a walk with the dog and then my evening routine of no tech, a book and more yoga and meditation. For others it's weights or running, for some it's doing something creative, dancing round the house with kids or chilling with Netflix and chocolate.

But it's also important to remember that self-care isn't just tasks or time out. It's the way we speak to ourselves, our self-talk, our relationships and the environments we put ourselves in.

It breaks my heart to hear of more and more HR leaders who...

Hi, I'm Kelly

burnout hr leadership wellbeing Jun 11, 2020

Getting to know someone can vary depending on the situation, the time you have and the environment you're in, but I guess if you're looking for a coach, and you've found your way here, the first thing you may want to know is why you'd even consider working with me? What makes me different to all of the other coaches out there? What skills do I have? And can I really help you with the particular thing you want help with?

I've worked in HR for over 20 years, latterly as an HR Director before starting my first company The Chrysalis Crew. I love HR. I hate the politics that often surround it. I've never really 'fitted' always too much of something in one way or another. Too colourful, too bold, too outspoken, too intuitive, too confident, too fast, too visionary, too blunt, too feisty, too confrontational, too argumentative, too bossy, you get the picture. But, I was always, always good at my role. I needed to learn a new things of course, I needed to adapt more, and I...

Guest Writer - The End Goal – Fostering that Sense of Belonging in a Workplace

hr wellbeing Jun 09, 2020

Last week I offered the chance for HR Professionals who wanted to talk about Diversity in HR, or Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging, my LinkedIn article platform to help them get their message out to a wider HR Network, and here's the first - The End Goal - Fostering that Sense of Belonging in a Workplace by Sinead Sharpe.

Sinead is HR Director with a large FM business based in Northern Ireland (approx 2,000 employees across the UK and Republic of Ireland). She's also a 42 year old mum of one teen and three cats and she lives on the beautiful North Coast of Antrim.

She started her career with a degree in Law & Politics and went from specialist learning and development roles to generalist HR roles. Sinead has about 18 years' experience overall and recently completed an MSc in Communications, Training and Development and is a Fellow of the CIPD.

This piece is Sinead's personal view and I hope you enjoy it.

Connect with Sinead here.

Let’s be honest –...

Who Are You?

Uncategorized Jun 03, 2020

During the first day of my coaching qualification I was asked repeatedly 'who are you?' by other trainees on my course. And when I say repeatedly, I mean for an hour, by several people who took it in turn for 10 minutes at a time.

We weren't allowed to repeat anything we said before, we had to answer something differently every time we answered. It felt uncomfortable, it was hard, and yet the more I answered the more I found myself answering things at a deeper and deeper level. When you move past the superficial layers of name, age, occupation, kids, and interests, you start to get into the really meaty stuff, and, as I discovered, you get to things that you didn't even know existed.

It was during this question that I found myself say for the first time ever that I wanted to start my own consultancy - where on earth had that come from?

I'd always seen myself just developing further and further into an HR role. I'd seen myself as global HRD in a...

Hindsight, Insight, Foresight

Uncategorized Jun 01, 2020

Hindsight can be a wonderful thing can't it?

In hindsight I should have left that relationship sooner.

In hindsight I should have left that company sooner.

In hindsight I should have put myself first sooner.

In hindsight I should have got help sooner.

In hindsight I shouldn't have spent so much whilst I was away.

In hindsight I shouldn't have reacted the way I did.

The trouble with hindsight though, is that it always comes after the event or situation and not before, so we need to have had whatever it was that happened, happen, before we can learn from it and ensure we don't do the same thing again.

And so we come to insight. The opportunities for high leverage. Getting the help, working with coach, knowing what we want to do differently next time, knowing what we'll change and how we'll change it. And I believe all of us have the answers we need, sometimes we just some help in framing and...

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