Blog
Boundaries Instead Of Goals
Dec 15, 2020
This is my last People Perspective of the year. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling knackered and exhausted and I am absolutely ready for some time off with my family and pooch for the next few weeks before getting back to work in the New Year. Any downtime I have in between clients and conversations this week I'm taking as downtime. I'm full of a head cold and feeling a bit crappy, I'm also keeping the conversations going that I want and need to have before I switch off on Friday.
Yesterday in between finishing the Queen's Gambit I did take some time to really think about this year and where I'd like to be next year. All of the goals and plans I set at the end of last year have either vanished completely, be partially met or totally failed. I found myself with new thoughts, a new focus and new things to focus my energy and attention on, like getting through to the end of 2020 with my wellbeing still in tact and a happy and healthy family instead of smashing income...
The Value In Learning
Dec 01, 2020
This last weekend I started yet another formal qualification, it’s a subject that I love and I know it will add value to my clients, and even though the timing wasn’t quite right, six months too early really, I’ve jumped in with both feet, shuffled my diary and my life around a bit and I’m making it happen.
My Dad, now 75, is a lifelong learner and I’ve definitely got the bug from him. When I’m not involved in formal training, and that’s actually quite rare, especially over the last five years, because, well PhD, I’ve got my head in a book, I’m watching videos and listening to podcasts, I’m learning about other people, I’m attending workshops or I’m doing something as simple, or so it sounds, as learning a new recipe. Although we’ve learnt that when disaster bakes or meals occur in the kitchen that we just call them an experiment and move on.
Whilst enjoying some downtime over the...
Mind The Gap
Nov 22, 2020
After my burnout in 2013 I spent months reflecting on why I had gotten to the point of burnout, brain fog and exhaustion and one of the things that became apparent was the integrity gap.
This gap was between my actions and my values, and I surprised by just how big this gap had become. It wasn’t an intentional gap, but one that had appeared over time, slowly chipping away inside of me until I couldn’t continue anymore.
I’d started my career in HR because I truly wanted to change the world of work. I wanted the world of work to be somewhere were people felt able to contribute positively, where they could thrive, be happy and stop the Monday to Friday dying syndrome that so many people I knew went through weekly experience.
The last eight years of my in-house career however hadn’t been about changing the world of work, but more about cost savings, holding people to account, working with toxic leadership and executive teams and...
Bandwidth and Headspace
Nov 10, 2020
Bandwidth = Internet access and WiFi
Headspace = The time to think, reflect and be
The 10th March was when I and the rest of my team started working at home, following the ‘work from home if you can’ statement from the government. At first, I didn’t think it would be much different from my usual working pattern. As a team, we usually only spent a day or two together in the office and the rest of the time we were making the most of our four day week, with clients or working from home.
Little did I know that just one week later, my entire household would be in the house, all of us fighting for what was already limited and slow(ish) Wifi. In the early days, we quickly became frustrated by the issues with all of us being on video calls at the same time, and so we had to create an understanding, and better communication about the times we all needed the internet connection for video calls, which calls needed to be done by phone, and for...
Let's Get Visible
Sep 25, 2020
It's hard to see someone that's hidden. It's hard to know they're there, it's hard to know they exist.
Think about the brands you know and love, where do they show up for you? Where do they jump into your life to let you know about their latest product or service? How do they keep you informed? How do they communicate with you? What makes you keep buying from them again and again? How do they build and maintain your trust?
For many of our people, they didn't choose us to lead them. They found us somehow, even because they'd heard great things, or saw the job advert, or fell in love with the brand, or the service, or the work that you do. But they didn't choose you. They didn't select you as the leader to drive them and the business forward, that decision was already made. But if they could choose you, would they choose you?
Lack of visible leadership is still an ongoing issue in many businesses, and of varying sizes. And that doesn't mean that you...
When It's Time To Let Go
Sep 22, 2020
Sometimes we hold on so much to what could be that we could be at risk of letting something amazing pass us by.
My relationship with my ex-husband lasted for 17 years, we had our two wonderful sons but our relationship and our marriage was built on a lot on 'what if's' and we both spent a long time thinking that when this changed, or that stopped then we'd be happy. Instead, I made the decision that I would be happy, and within a few months my marriage ended horribly.
After the sale of our family home I moved into a beautiful town-house, it was everything I hoped it would be and after some time my now partner moved in bringing with him his two sons. A couple of years later and we moved into a Windmill, determined and hopeful that this would be our forever home. Having invested all of our money into our businesses we moved into the windmill as a rental, the landlord promising he'd sell in a couple of years, perfect timing for us.
The property is...
Back to Basics
Sep 16, 2020
2020 has been a rollercoaster of a year for us all in one way or another and we still have three months to go. Are we in for more twists and turns? Who knows, but one thing I do know is that it's time to go back to basics.
Ever since I've started my career we seem to have been overcomplicating our relationships, the way we communicate, the way we manage and the way we lead. We're adding more and more complexity to everything we do and it's been past the point of overwhelm for a lot of us for years.
Leadership has somehow moved away from leading from the front and become a term we use for the most senior people in the business. Management is no longer about people but performance, measures and stats. Work is no longer something you do 9-5 Monday to Friday but an all encompassing thing that we carry around in our pockets, and have constantly in our hands.
Our wellbeing is being impacted more and more each and every day. We're sleeping less, working...
Fear of Judgement
Aug 28, 2020
Today I've had my own coaching session with my coach and we were talking about visibility and why I need to be more visible if I'm going to achieve all that I want to achieve and deliver my mission of changing the world of work.
As part of our conversation we talked specifically about videos and how they could help me, but I also started thinking about why leaders don't show up, what gets in our way and what happens when fear comes up.
So, rather than write about it, I thought I'd show up with a video, and here it is.
Kelly
Is It Always Good To Talk?
Aug 28, 2020
We're often told that it's good to talk, but what happens if nobody is listening?
Last week I was interviewed by one of my favourite humans, Ian Pettigrew for his Empowering True Strength podcast and so I wanted to be able to share it with you for a listen. I share why we need to be prepared to listen to people and not just always find it good to talk, along with my burnout from 2013 and we discuss my strengths.
People can often assume that coaching is just about asking questions, but a key and very vital coaching skill is the ability to listen. And sometimes it's not just about listening for what is being said and being able to ask powerful questions, but it's also about listening for what's not being said. Listening for changes in tone, changes in pace, language, specific words, and, being able to listen out for gut feel and changes in emotion.
When I first created the Listening Leader workshop people found it a bit odd, particularly...
The Messy Middle
Aug 13, 2020
On Tuesday during a discovery call I was asked what I loved most about coaching, my answer?
"I love helping clients through the messy middle. Clients usually have a good idea about where they are and where they want to get to, but it's the middle that can be daunting, overwhelming, scary, confusing or hard - and I love helping them get through that stage to where they want to be, and often beyond. I also love seeing the lightbulb moments, the moments of clarity, the moments that mindsets shift and I know that magic will come out of that".
The prospective client, now new client, replied, "Wow, I love that. The others coaches I've spoken to all just replied with the same answer of 'I love to help people and see them grow', and I wasn't really feeling it, but you speak so passionately about it and I'm excited about working with you".
Honestly it's been a while since a client asked me what I love about coaching, I get asked about it in interviews for...
