HR, WTF Are You Trying To Prove?

burnout hr leadership Jul 08, 2022

I was going to post a different article with you today, but this feels like the words that I need to share today. And I’m mad, frustrated, heartbroken, sad and overwhelmed by the messages I’ve received this week and the conversations I’ve had, so here goes.

Yesterday I shared that it was 9 years since I had the first of two operations in 48 hours as a result of the physical impact of my burnout in 2013, the burnout that almost killed me, and the burnout that I refused to admit to, working from my hospital bed because I didn’t want to let anyone down, I didn’t want to seem like I had failed, I ‘needed’ to be there for my team. And whilst I was recovering and numbing from the daytime TV I’d been consuming as I lay on the sofa, the day that my sons came home from school and I said to them ‘don’t worry Mum will be back at work soon’ because for me my ability to work or not seemed to prove how healthy I was,...

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What's your definition of success?

I have just delivered my annual Power Up event in London and I wanted to share some of the learnings that have come from that event.
When I envisioned my event and came up with the idea originally, it would now be very easy for me (a few days after) to see it as a failure in comparison to what I had in my mind.
It was during a coaching session with my own coach last June, where I was in the process of bringing forward Kelly Swingler as a brand. I was stepping away from my old consultancy that I started in 2014 and over the last year I have really put myself out there, flying the Kelly Swingler flag and brand. During my coaching session I said I wanted to reach as many women as possible, in person, in a room, being able to help women step into their core power.
My coach asked me to do a visualisation exercise, where we went into a brief meditation, to visualise ‘this thing’. I knew it was something that had to happen in person and as...
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Mind The Gap

Mind the gap is the title of my next book and is now available on pre-order.
This book is the most difficult one I’ve written to date. This will be my 5th book and is released on the 13th July.
With the other 4 books, they have been commissioned by publishers in the first instance. So the publishers have asked me to write a book, they’ve given me the word count, the layout and a rough idea of what’s to be in the book. They’ve also edited it and published it for me.
But with this book, I had some challenges initially. The title had been going around in my head for months, but I had no idea what I was going to write about, I just wrote down ‘Mind the Gap’ in my notebook.
I started to write it and contacted a publisher and I was so excited because I not only had this book in mind, I also had 4 more. I knew the order they were going to be in and why, everything was in place and I was over the moon when...
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One For The Introverts

hr leadership Jun 17, 2022
Core-led women know 3 things:
They know who they are at the core
They have very clear boundaries
They take time out for themselves
Part of who I am at the core is an introvert, an empath and highly intuitive, which can be a good mix, but also an extremely draining mix.
When I speak with people on this topic, many are surprised when I talk about my introversion and being an introvert. In my business I am highly visible online, I run in person events (such as my annual Power Up event), I can stand on a stage and deliver talks and I love delivering speeches to people. But my introversion is more about energy and how I manage it.
My partner is the complete opposite to me. He’s an extrovert, so his downtime and recharging involves lots of phone calls and catching up with people, being in a social situation where he is surrounded by family and friends. But for me, I recharge and I get my energy from being alone.
That could be my...
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My Success, My Way

Success comes in all shapes and sizes and is personal to each of us. I want to help you create your success, your way.
Have you thought about success?
What does it mean to you?
Are you on track?
Some of the women I work with are incredible and successful women, yet sometimes when I start working with them on a 1:1 basis, they don’t always feel successful. They say that other people label them as successful, but it’s not necessarily a word they would use to describe themselves.
I can relate to that!
So, have you thought about what success would look like and feel like for you?
I hear the word failing or failure a lot with women in my coaching, in my programmes and in my DM’s.
“I feel like a failure”
“I want to feel successful”
“I feel like a fraud”
“I don’t feel like I can celebrate my wins, as I don’t want to come across as arrogant”
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burnout coaching leadership Jun 05, 2022

It’s Friday night, I’m sat at a rooftop bar in London and the building opposite has Progress engraved in it, and I begin to question the word. The building had no name or number that I could see, I have no idea what it stood for, but it’s left me thinking about progress. At the time that the building was built, was progress a mission, did they feel that enough was being made fast enough, was it a stamp in time in memory of progress that had been made – I have no idea.

This same weekend has seen the Queen celebrate 70 years on the throne. Family commitments, work and travel meant that I’ve not watched or participated as much as I might have done in previous years in Jubilee celebrations, and for the first time, I’ve really questioned whether a promise that was made 70 years to ‘reign until the day I die’ really demonstrates progress.

Until this year I’d always thought of it as honourable, this time round I...

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On Your Bike

burnout leadership Jun 03, 2022
When I was coming up to my 30th birthday, I thought; IS THIS IT!
Is this what I will be doing for the rest of my life? What do I need to change? What do I need to do?
In the run up to my birthday and was flicking through a magazine and an advert caught my eye- cycling across Kenya for 3 women's cancer charities (for cervical, ovarian and breast cancer)
I thought; this will give me purpose, meaning and something to aim for. Let’s Go!
I always loved the idea of being a runner and I had on my goal list to complete the London Marathon. But running seems to just bore the shit out of me and I lose interest. Some of my friends have done hundreds of park runs and loads of marathons and love the social aspect of it. But it’s not really for me, I’ve done a few 5k’s and a half marathon once (I hated it!), but my love has always been cycling.
I could pedal for hours and hours and I love being outdoors. So this...
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What Happens When Women Speak Up

I recently watched the latest Davina McCall documentary- her second one talking about her experience with menopause. Whilst this post isn’t necessarily all about menopause, the impact that it has on women is something that we all need to pay attention to and talk about.
I was menopausal at the age of 33 with an endometrial embolization and found out at age 41 that I probably should have been on HRT at 33. I knew I had all of the symptoms and had been seeing the doctors over and over again and repeatedly told ‘you’re too young’.
After the first Davina documentary I found a private GP and paid thousands of pounds for lots of different tests and the only test that wasn’t done was the one for menopause, again because I was still deemed to be too young. Through a conversation with friends of mine, I was introduced to an organisation called Newson Health that is run by Doctor Louise Newson. I had 1 consultation with one of her...
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Mind The Gap

burnout wellbeing May 27, 2022
This is the title of my next book which is launching in July and available on my website for pre-sale very soon. Very soon it’s going to transform from words on a page to an actual real life book and the feeling of seeing and holding months of your work in book form, is something I never tire of.
Mind the gap is the journey from balance to burnout and back again, my experiences and my journey in recognising that the gap between health and burnout, isn't always a big one. And if we're not doing what we need to do, we can fall through the crack quite easily.
Core-led living is what got me out of burnout. I had created this gap between the true me, (who I am at my core) and the façade version of me that was trying to live in a way that suited everybody else.
I was going after everyone else's level of success.
I was trying to fit into these leadership boxes that were just not me.
I was living in a way that wasn’t aligned to who I am...
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burnout wellbeing May 20, 2022
For the last few years rather than creating a long list of resolutions (that quite frankly I never do), I instead have a word of the year. I still have my big goals and quarterly goals for the year, but I focus on a word rather than resolutions.
For example, my resolutions used to be, quit smoking, quit drinking, eat healthier etc, but I failed so quickly into the New Year and never quite managed to get back on track. So I created a habit and a focus on one word for the year.
This year my word is NOURISHMENT.
In previous years my word has been:
Before I came up with my word for this year, I’d realised that I had been writing down and talking about the word ‘nourish’. So I sat with it for a while and it just felt right for all Four Core-Ners of my life:
For me, it’s more than just...
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