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Feeling Like An Imposter

I’ve been getting a number of messages from women saying that the more senior they are becoming in their careers, the more they are starting to feel like an imposter. 

I can relate to this. 

When I got my seat at the table, that was when I really started to feel for the first time that I don’t belong. I started to doubt my abilities and whether I was good enough to be there. 

Much like the Spiderman quote ‘with great power, comes great responsibility’. 

It felt like that responsibility was too much to bear. It didn’t just feel like I had a responsibility for the role and in the organisation, it also felt like I had a responsibility for women, women my age (I was 30) and for young working mums (my sons were 10). I’d never had those feelings before, until I got that seat at the table. 

If we don’t tackle this feeling, we reach burnout. That’s where I got to. 

I didn’t have a big community of people...

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Be Seen, Be Heard, Be You

In 2014 I left corporate and started my consultancy, The Chrysalis Crew. At the time I knew that the organisation would be much bigger than me. In terms of the purpose and the work that we were doing.
 
Many people at the time asked me why I didn’t call that company Kelly Swingler, but I knew the company was much bigger than me.
 
I had this period when I first started the business of being able to hide behind the Chrysalis brand name and logo. This kept me quite small. It wasn’t until I started to recruit a team that they said I was the face of the organisation. The reality is, that I was. People wanted to ‘buy’ me. But at the time all I wanted was to hide.
 
If we think about some of the big brands; we can associate them to a person.
 
I didn’t realise this as quickly as I should.
 
Years went on, I then became comfortable being on stage, I’d recovered from my corporate hangover and burnout...
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One For The Introverts

hr leadership Jun 17, 2022
Core-led women know 3 things:
They know who they are at the core
They have very clear boundaries
They take time out for themselves
 
Part of who I am at the core is an introvert, an empath and highly intuitive, which can be a good mix, but also an extremely draining mix.
 
When I speak with people on this topic, many are surprised when I talk about my introversion and being an introvert. In my business I am highly visible online, I run in person events (such as my annual Power Up event), I can stand on a stage and deliver talks and I love delivering speeches to people. But my introversion is more about energy and how I manage it.
 
My partner is the complete opposite to me. He’s an extrovert, so his downtime and recharging involves lots of phone calls and catching up with people, being in a social situation where he is surrounded by family and friends. But for me, I recharge and I get my energy from being alone.
 
That could be my...
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Ego Vs Being Core-Led

It’s impossible for us to be ego driven when we are being core-led.
 
When we are core-led we can easily spot the people that are living and leading from a place of total bulls**t. We can spot them a mile off and those who think they are amazing and successful are usually leading from a place of ego and arrogance instead.
 
One of the things I hear women say when I talk about stepping up, speaking up, being more confident and living and leading more from their core, is that they don’t want to do that because they are worried people will think they have a big ego and their confidence will come across as arrogance. We do see some of this arrogance in our organisations, in our communities and on social media etc, but normally our worries are just that and they don’t actually happen, especially when you are coming from a core-led place.
 
Definition of Ego; I or self of any person. A person who is thinking, feeling and willing, and...
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Women Supporting Women

burnout hr leadership May 06, 2022
As core-led women we continue to be aligned to our core and we encourage others to do the same. When women support women we create a ripple effect and there are always amazing women supporting other women. But there are times when women aren't supporting other women or trying to pull them down and criticising them on their appearance, parenting, relationship or work choices.
 
One big story this year was that Molly Mae podcast episode- After it there was so much aggression and hate from other women. I understood their point of view, though that doesn’t necessarily mean I agreed with what they were saying; but what was it that caused them to react in such a way?
 
When we are core-led, we react to things in a different way. I strongly believe that hurt women, hurt women and empowered women, empower women. When we see those horrible comments directed to other women, I wonder why? Why are they saying these things?
 
I was very lucky that from a young...
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True To Yourself

What can change for you when you start being true to yourself?
 
I had a conversation with a woman recently who was turning down the opportunities of presenting to her organisation and widely in her community. She is seen as an inspiration and a leader in her community, but she wasn’t feeling this herself. After listening to my podcast episode about being a core-led woman, that day she had been asked to do a talk and her initial reaction was no I can’t do that. She then took 10 minutes and did a little happy dance and went back to them and said YES! This week she is delivering a talk to 1500 people on a stage and it’s the first time she has done a talk to that many people. A lightbulb went off and she thought she just needs to stop hiding.
 
YES! This is what happens when we are aligned with our core, we can’t hide anymore. I felt a similar way a long time ago, I was nervous to give talks about myself and what I do. I was nervous about...
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Animal Instincts and Primitive Brains

hr leadership Jun 04, 2021
A change is announced at work: a merger, an acquisition, or employee cuts for efficiencies or cost-saving. At first, although shocked (maybe), you deal with it and feel OK. Then the jungle drums start thudding and you notice panic setting in. Behaviours change, gossip starts and you too start to change the way you feel about the change and about your ability.
 
Ordinarily, you know you are good at your job and you hope you will be OK. You’ll wait and see what happens and if you do have to leave, you can do so with some money in your pocket and find a new job, start your own business or take the opportunity to learn some new skills and start a new career path. You are still feeling quite calm.
 
And then it starts.
 
People around you are starting to belittle each other, ‘I’m better than you'. In meetings or during work people are stamping all over each other, shouting loudly, ‘pick me, pick me; you need me, you know you do’. You...
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Hi, I'm Kelly

Getting to know someone can vary depending on the situation, the time you have and the environment you're in, but I guess if you're looking for a coach, and you've found your way here, the first thing you may want to know is why you'd even consider working with me? What makes me different to all of the other coaches out there? What skills do I have? And can I really help you with the particular thing you want help with?
 
I've worked in HR for over 20 years, latterly as an HR Director before starting my first company The Chrysalis Crew. I love HR. I hate the politics that often surround it. I've never really 'fitted' always too much of something in one way or another. Too colourful, too bold, too outspoken, too intuitive, too confident, too fast, too visionary, too blunt, too feisty, too confrontational, too argumentative, too bossy, you get the picture. But, I was always, always good at my role. I needed to learn a new things of course, I needed to adapt more, and I...
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