90 Seconds or Burnout: Why Emotional Suppression is Costing You More Than You Think
You’ve probably heard it thrown around on Instagram or in a therapy reel:
“It only takes 90 seconds to feel an emotion. After that, it’s your choice to hold on to it.”
The science behind this comes from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist who famously explained that the biochemical reaction of an emotion lasts about 90 seconds. That’s it. 90 seconds.
Unless we interfere.
So what happens when we don’t let the emotion move through?
In theory: You feel it. It peaks. It passes. You move on.
In practice: You feel it → your Slack pings → someone dismisses you → you swallow it → you fake a smile → you sit in the meeting seething → you go quiet → you go home and collapse.
That emotion didn’t pass. You pushed it down. And what the body represses, it stores.
Burnout loves an emotionally constipated workplace.
Workplaces often reward suppression:
“Be professional” = don’t show feelings.
“Don’t take it personally” = disconnect from your body.
“Stay positive” = override reality.
This creates a system where emotional honesty is seen as weakness, and feeling is treated like failure.
But the reality is this:
Suppressed emotions don’t disappear. They compound.
Chronic suppression = chronic dysregulation = chronic Burnout.
If you interrupt the 90 seconds every time… you pay for it later.
Your nervous system doesn’t forget. You may forget the incident but your body remembers the unprocessed anger, grief, humiliation, fear.
Every time someone swallows back tears at work to be “professional,” it takes a toll.
Every time someone forces themselves to smile through overwhelm, it creates a crack.
Over months and years, these cracks become collapse.
The cost of emotional repression? Culture rot.
Burnout doesn’t start with broken people - it starts with broken norms and broken systems.
When no one is allowed to feel, no one can regulate. When no one regulates, everyone leaks. Passive aggression. Silence. Exhaustion. Cynicism. Blame.
This becomes the emotional landscape of the workplace - and Burnout becomes systemic.
Letting people feel is not a luxury. It’s a safeguard.
If we just let the emotion exist for 90 seconds, here’s what changes:
Nervous systems regulate faster.
Boundaries are easier to set.
Conversations are more honest.
Recovery becomes possible before collapse.
You don’t need therapy circles in the staff kitchen. You need permission.
Permission to:
Pause.
Name it.
Feel it.
Let it move.
And then return. More human, not more broken.
The bottom line?
If your culture doesn’t allow 90 seconds of honesty, you’ll be spending years dealing with the consequences.
Burnout isn’t about overworking. One of the biggest contributing factors is emotional overload with no release. And it ends when we make space to feel.
Want to learn how to create Burnout-Aware cultures and coach Burnout the right way?
Join me inside The Burnout Academy - where we stop causing harm we can’t see, and start creating change that actually sticks.
Kelly
I’m daring to imagine a world where Burnout no longer exists, and if you’re daring to imagine a world like that too, then come and join me.
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