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The Messy Middle

Uncategorized Aug 13, 2020
On Tuesday during a discovery call I was asked what I loved most about coaching, my answer?
"I love helping clients through the messy middle. Clients usually have a good idea about where they are and where they want to get to, but it's the middle that can be daunting, overwhelming, scary, confusing or hard - and I love helping them get through that stage to where they want to be, and often beyond. I also love seeing the lightbulb moments, the moments of clarity, the moments that mindsets shift and I know that magic will come out of that".
The prospective client, now new client, replied, "Wow, I love that. The others coaches I've spoken to all just replied with the same answer of 'I love to help people and see them grow', and I wasn't really feeling it, but you speak so passionately about it and I'm excited about working with you".
Honestly it's been a while since a client asked me what I love about coaching, I get asked about it in interviews for...
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5 Ways To Be More Present

Uncategorized Aug 11, 2020
This last weekend I was able to get away with the family and our gorgeous rescue dog for a change of scenery, lots of walking and lots of good food.  We laughed, talked, spent quality time together and relaxed.
I wasn't sure how I'd feel about being away after spending so long in the same four walls, or how I'd feel about what to do if there were lots of other people around.  I'm even more convinced now that we can only control ourselves in life - if our safety relies purely on the common sense of others, this virus could certainly be even more consuming! But, my commitment to myself during our weekend away was to be present, in the moment with all that we did and to not let worry and anxiety take over me.  And so today, I want to share with you five ways in which to be more present in your day to day life.
Connecting with your breathing brings you back into the now, into the moment, and back into yourself.  Two of my favourite and...
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Uncategorized Jul 31, 2020
Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads in your life or career and felt the need to keep pushing, to keep moving, to keep exploring and questioning and researching?
This is something I've been discussing with my own coach and therapist over the last few months and something that came up for one of my clients this morning. At times we push harder, expecting the longer hours and the harder work to give us the answers, and yet we slow down, or stop, this can give us exactly the answers we are looking for.
I've never been a particularly patient person, and yet I am learning to be patient. I've never been someone what has done anything slowly, and yet I'm discovering the calm within the slower pace. And the slower pace, that I have crafted for myself, is allowing more moments of joy and connection and more answers and more direction and more clarity.
In a little over a month I turn 40, and this for me has brought up a whole raft of emotions and...
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Communication, Compassion and Common Sense

hr leadership Jul 18, 2020

With the news that workers in the UK can start to return to offices from 1st August there has, not surprisingly been some concern and worry along with a number of companies giving reassurance to their people that returns will be phased, and in come cases won't take place until 2021.

Over recent weeks I've seen more and more questions in HR groups from HR teams and HR Independents asking what action can be taken against employees who have so far refused to come back to work when the manager has told them to return, and my plea is that we need communication, compassion and common sense before forcing anyone to return.

I've seen and heard some of the following conversations (and iterations of them):

Company A wants employee A to return to the office but has told them they can use a separate entrance, use a separate kitchen and won't have to come into contact with any other people throughout the day. Employee A has refused and the manager wants to know what to do about it - seriously!...

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Under The Table

Uncategorized Jul 14, 2020
Twice in my life I have sat and hidden under a table and cried.
The first time, I was six years old. We had just moved to Peterborough, and I was starting a new school with a new teacher and a class full of students that I didn't know. It want my first day at my new school and we were all sat on the carpet, I remember moving further and further back as more kids arrived in class and sat on the carpet, and I found myself under a table. Once there, I cried until the teacher noticed where I was hidden and came to rescue me and introduce me to the class. Miss Durwood didn't mention I was under the table, nor my tears, she just introduced me, found me a friend and that was that, no biggie.
The second time, I was 17 years old, yes really. I was 17 years old, I was completing my A levels and I had to stand up and give a presentation to the class. I'd spoken in front of groups before, but I avoided anything where I had to follow a script. I just couldn't do it. I'd...
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HR, What's Your Value?

hr leadership Jun 30, 2020

Before lockdown, I was hearing from and speaking to a lot of HR pros who felt undervalued and unappreciated with very little recognition from their peers and colleagues for a job well done. One particular client had gone over and above in some project work and yet the Customer Service, the IT and the Procurement teams were the ones praised publicly for their work on the project and HR didn't get a look in.

This isn't uncommon, this isn't a one off, this isn't an isolated event, so what's the issue?

Since lockdown, I have seen HR work tirelessly, waiting until the Friday updates to then set to work at 5:30pm to have calls, write comms, and change policies and working practices for their people. The hours are longer, the stress is increased, and still many feel undervalued and unappreciated.

And I wonder if this is in anyway linked to how we see ourselves.

Back in 2011 I was asked if I would take on a new role, the salary was between £70k and £90k. I said yes. My boss...

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Does Coaching Always Help?

Uncategorized Jun 28, 2020
I'll always say that coaching can help, and I believe it can help anyone, but I think there are some caveats to this. Two of the coaches I've worked with over the years didn't help me, at all. These two coaches had been given to me by my CEO's as coaches that 'work with all of our leaders', but the relationships weren't the right fit for me.
Firstly, the coaching relationship must be a good fit if coaching is going to help. And this doesn't mean that your coach has to be your new best friend, but it helps if you can trust them, feel that they will give you the right amount of stretch, support and challenge and that they get you.
Many companies fall into the trap of assigning the same coach to everyone, someone they've worked with for years and who might be offended if someone else was brought it, but if the relationship isn't right, the coaching isn't going to help. Whenever I've been asked to work with whole teams, I still always insist on discovery calls...
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"I Am Enough"

Uncategorized Jun 23, 2020
An extremely high performing client and I were speaking this morning about everything they would like to achieve. When we started our coaching relationship a few weeks ago, they had come to me to develop better time management, we quickly knew that time wasn't the issue and they've been making great progress.
Today we talked about their competitive nature, where this has stemmed from and how they feel currently now they aren't in competition with others as they were through school and education. They are highly respected in their field and get great feedback from everyone they work with, but they no longer feel they are achieving and are beating themselves up daily and feeling like a failure.
The reality is there is no failing, but what's missing is the validity of grades and scores and tick boxes that demonstrate a job well done. The praise isn't as forthcoming as it used to be but when asked for and when received it's always glowing.
What we...
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Try vs Do

Uncategorized Jun 23, 2020
A few months ago I experienced my first 'nothingness' in a meditation and it felt amazing, yet since then I've found myself trying to recreate the moment and failing, until last Thursday. I've been practising meditation now for years and this 'nothingness' is what the teachers and text books will tell you is the thing to aspire to with meditation, but for now, just focusing on your breath is enough to start with.
And so I've found myself for years trying to find nothingness and thinking I was there with it, until I realised I wasn't. The first time I found this complete silence and stillness I felt elated, and it's taken several months to get back to it. And on Thursday night when it happened again, I realised that the difference was that I totally let go. I stopped trying, and in stopping the trying, it happened again.
That same evening as my partner and I lay in bed I asked him what time he would be home the following day, he leaves at 4am so we don't see...
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I Am Not Your Guru

coaching Jun 23, 2020

On Monday night and sat and watched I Am Not Your Guru on Netflix, the behind the scenes filming on Tony Robbins six day event. It's been coming up on my account as one I might like for months, but I've never entertained it, until now.

Over the past few months I've been pushing forward to do the things that make me uncomfortable. I've always believed we grow on the other side of our comfort zone, but I've also realised that I have times when I'd just rather avoid things. Tony Robbins was one of the things I've been trying to avoid, and I never really knew why.

Tony Robbins is a name that you can't really avoid. His programmes, talks, seminars and photo are pretty much everywhere in the world of self development. My fire walking instructor worked with Tony Robbins, it was the image of Tony on the marketing material that made me put off the training. I've trained in Breathwork with Dan Brulé, Tony Robbins breath work coach, and I've had conversations with Tolly Burkan, Tony's...

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